Friday, August 29, 2008

Don't I know you from somewhere?

On the way back from Zanzibar the other day. The plane’s just landed and as I’m getting my bag out of the overhead locker a lady I’d noticed earlier says to me


“No,” I say, “I’m not Phillipa”

My husband is elbowing me in the ribs

“Ow, what are you doing? Huh? You’re muttering, I can’t hear you”

I turn back to the lady. “I’m not Phillipa. But I know her. Old family friend”

More elbowing

“What” I hiss to elbowing husband

“thnbgsd is pilajda” mutters husband (“that is Phillipa”)

“OH!” I say. “Shit”


So I go over to said lady (someone stop me!) and say “Were you asking if I was Phillipa or are you telling my that you're Phillipa?”

“I’m Phillipa” she says. She looks really embarrassed now. Shouldn’t that be ME that’s embarrassed?

“Oooooh I seeeee!” I say. “I’m Miranda.” I add futilely.

She nods “Yes I know”

Cue ground to open up…no? Okay so I’ll just sit next to you on the bus instead and jabber on endlessly. Try dig myself out.


“My mom was here recently, shame she missed you. She really wanted to see you. We only just found out you’d moved here”

“Yes, I saw her at Shoprite”


“Oh, Okay. Well that’s nice” Silence


“So umm, how are you enjoying Arusha”


I should not be let out in public


Reminds me of a story told by my uncle, Adrian.

He was in small town dusty Chipata and this guy comes up to him and says
“Hey, you’re Norman Carr’s son, right?”
“Yes” says Adrian.
“Ah, I don’t know you, but me and your brother Adrian, we’re like this” (crosses fingers to indicate being inseparable) “Very close. Good good friends”

*Name has been changed to protect me


Ernest de Cugnac said...

Ouch, I felt that. I wonder what embarrasment is? You know, what purpose it serves in survival terms etc. Just feels painful!

Chimera said...

That is very VEY fine and funny! I smile, wince smile....!
Thanks Miranda.
T xx

Dumdad said...

You're so funny Melanie!

Miranda said...

Good question, as ever, Ernest. I think it's quite a wasted emotion, but hard to discard! Tied in with ego perhaps?

Thanks Tanvi. It was a pretty funny exchange!

Miranda said...

Dumdad, missed yours. Ha! I mean Dumbad, I mean Bumdad,I mean dumbdad. Ooooh stop me, STOP ME!

Janelle said...

heh heh heh! you see moelie mo? you funny man! and wonderfully succint. DON'T YOU DARE STOP BLOGGING.(over capuccinos yesterday our miranda sighed and said "did you see dumdad threatened to quit blogging? hmm maybe i will too...!?" jesuzzzz) otherwise i'll sommer moer you my china. you see what you started dumdad, by your veiled threats of quitting your blog life? now stop it both of you and keep blogging! xxx janelle

Miss Understood said...

I've had half hour conversations with people who have been SO excited to see me in the street, yet I've had no idea who the hell they are.
Damn annoying, that, and HUGELY embarrassing!

Dumdad said...


Crikey, my "quit blogging" was a throwaway line - I wish I hadn't said it now!

Yes, Miranda and I must pull ourselves together and keep on blogging....

Reya Mellicker said...

Yes you both must keep on blogging!

As for awkward social moments, just reading about it makes me cringe, remembering how many times I've stuck my foot in my mouth.

aims said...

I've been known to talk to complete strangers for long periods of time - and all with a smile on my face.

I just hate being mean or hurting people - so I exhaust myself doing things like that instead.

Stupid. Just plain stupid. Me that is - not you Miranda!

BlouKous said...

Oh that made me laugh! You have a great way with words. This all reminds me of a very poor joke but it cracks me up every time:

A white horse walks into a bar, sits down and orders a drink.

The barman gives him a look and finally says: "You know, we have a whiskey named after you"

The horse all pleasantly surprised says "Really, you have a whiskey named Fred?"

tam said...

OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH and the funniest part is your faultlessly polite husband standing by and watching the whole thing. Dem.

Don't you dare stop.
love it Mo.

Angela said...

Can I add another incident that happened to your grandmother?
She entered the old-fashioned tram in which you still had to buy a ticket from the driver (she was on the way to a Schnapsladen - spirits shop - just to refill her stocks.) She shoved her coins over to the driver. "Give me a bottle of Muscateller," she said.
And fled without wanting the coins back...