Sunday, August 31, 2008

The Tardis (the mysteries of a woman's handbag)

I have recently discovered the delights of a handbag. I never had one until a year or so ago and didn’t realise what I was missing. But a handbag doesn’t work so well on the bike, so I’m having to transfer everything into a wee backpack. Oh. My. God. The things I have found in there…If you are brave enough you are about to get an unchartered, unchanged, unadulterated look into the Handbag of Miranda. It’s not a pretty sight. Be warned.
Emptied out of my handbag today I have:

- A big pile of rubbish – this consists of old chewing gum wrappers (at least I don’t litter!), old parking tickets, old shopping lists and crumpled to do lists (with lots of not done things on them), a used bus ticket to Nairobi (that was MONTHS ago!)
- Two phones. One a hand-me-down of my sisters that I love coz its got a great camera but it takes 7 minutes to send a text message (I’ve timed it). The other is my old one that died (are you surprised with all the rubbish that’s in there?) but I haven’t transferred the numbers over yet so I occasionally have to open that one to get a number
- My wallet (with money in coz it’s the end of the month – woohoo!)
- 3 notebooks. One for general stuff, one for new Swahili words, one for new Maasai words (I should just give up on that one now)
- A small red ochre compacted lump of earth. Went to a horse place just outside of town a few weeks ago (who am I kidding it was when my mum was here – months ago!) and a group of Maasai women were digging it up. They eat it and decorate bodies with it. Took a piece its very very red and beautiful and not so tasty. All crumbled into the bottom of my bag now
- My ipod, a little scratched
- Asthma pump
- Sunblock
- Glasses and case
- Sunglasses and case
- Zambian Drivers Licence (that looks homemade. The cops are not convinced by it)
- Hair band and small butterfly shaped clips
- 4 pens and a pencil (that’s where all my pens have got to)
- 2 tampons (ahem)
- 2 chapsticks
- 2 pieces of grass (?)
- A corkscrew (you never know)
- A penknife (with back up corkscrew. Oh dear!)
- 5 cable ties
- A box of matches
- 2 paracetamol
- Some string
- Some chewing gum
- Stray and random coins

So there you have it. The secret's out. No more mystery.


Angela said...

No pictures? Powder for your nose? A wet cloth in a plastic bag?
When you come to visit, you can at least add a pink seashell and some cosmea seeds.
But yes, I think you set a fine example. I especislly liked the lump of earth...

Dumdad said...

Is that a Swiss Army knife?

Word verification: uttermess

BlouKous said...

Just had a look in my bag and the weirdest I could find was an empty jar of hand cream, one scrunched up albeit unused plaster and one earring which distressed me as they used to be my favorite pair, but now appears to be no longer.

Reya Mellicker said...

I'm a big believer in the wee backpack. What would I do without it?

Whenever my sister and I get together (not often since we live 3,000 miles away from each other), the first thing we do is trade purses and start digging. Looking through someone's else's handbag is so intimate. In a certain way, it reveals everything, or maybe I should say it tells a story.

Thank you for sharing your story with us.

aims said...

I hate purses! Arrrghhhhh!

But I do have one. And finding just the right one? Impossible!

I have all those gum wrappers in mine too....I will not litter! No Way!

My purse is small as carrying around a lot of weight just does my shoulder nothing much to report from mine.

fush and chips said...

Charming blog, Miranda. You sound almost as disorganized as me. My wee backpack only comes out on long trips, when it is loaded with an encyclopedic panoply of random crap.

Ernest de Cugnac said...

Brave woman. You're not going to get a look into mine.

Miranda said...

Geli - I look forward to adding a pink seashell!

Dumdad - it is indeed (a Swiss Army knife..and an uttermess)

Bloukous - sorry about the earring. I bet you'll find it in some weird place

Reya - yes handbags are rather intimate. I was still deliberating whether to actually publish this post when I pressed the wrong button and off it went! Oh well. Now ya'll have an insight into my messy but lovely life!

Aims - glad someone else collects rubbish coz they won't litter.

Fush and chips - disorganised I am. Its my middle name didn'tcha know? Although I thought cable ties, corkscrew and string was pretty organised....not that I've ever found an opportunity to use them. Ahem, apart from the corkscrew of course

ernest - Yes it was rather brave (see above comment that the decision to publish it was taken out of my hands). Oh go on - lets have a look in YOUR handbag!...working on your 6 word story now....

Val said...

spare spark plug and No 10 spanner?

Miranda said...

Well quite - that'll be next!

tam said...

No Zambian kwachas lurking in there? I usually have about ZK7 000 in small notes, from last trip, squashed down in the corner somewhere, brown and crumpled. (that's about $2). I never have useful things like string or a corkscrew. Or cable ties. Notebooks, well, yes. Plenty.

That damn phone!