Friday, September 5, 2008

Kiss me Kate

Aren’t you glad we don’t still live in the times where men threw gloves at each other and challenged duels at dawn?

Or whatever it was they did. Rather peculiar wouldn’t you say?

Do you think that kind of thing really happened? The ten steps on a misty morning, turn around - Bam! Oops missed, oh blast, aaaahhh gurgle gurgle, tell Kate I love her. Dead.

The pale skinned, curly haired siren of your affections waiting in the turret, chewing nervously on her knuckles wondering which man it will be that’ll come and sweep her away.

Was thinking about it yesterday, and wondering what I would do in that position. If challenged to a duel at dawn. With a shitty old gun that wasn’t an AK47 or anything. Would I turn around before the ten steps were up and shoot? Would I, at step three, duck down, lie on my belly and wait for the rascal to turn around? Enjoy the look of surprise on his face when he can’t see me and then shoot? Hide in a bush? Run awaaaay?

Who am I kidding, I’d probably never even get to that stage. I’d just say, “Oh, um excuse me, it appears you dropped your glove at my feet. Here you go. Should be more careful with your things” and run like hell. Reputation be damned. Plenty more Kates in the sea

What would you do?

6 comments:

fush and chips said...

I'd run a mile.

We had a far more civilized spatula and black label quart dueling protocol at varsity. Each walk ten paces, thwack the lid off the beer with the spatula, last one to finish forfeits. Of course, we had some growing up to do.

Val said...

keep walking maybe... and speed up, then zig zag madly. Shooting in the back is not allowed - you hope they know!
be careful of the company you keep for starters - but whoever does that??

Miss Understood said...

I never did get all that nonsense. Crazy enough to kill each other, yet gentlemanly enough to not turn round.

I'd turn round for sure.

blogthatmama said...

Hi Miranda, have just got back. Thanks for the visit to mine and have published the comment, at long last! Zambia, what a place... Will upload Lurch's fabulous pictures of South Luwangwa, amongst others, how lucky you are to grow up there. Blogthatmama

Reya Mellicker said...

Back when people had duels, guns were so unpredictable, almost no one ever died. It's was more of a pride thing ... they didn't have to keep shooting until someone got hit.

I had a duel with someone once, though our weapon of choice was ice cold gin and vermouth. To avoid any injury, we removed the toothpick with the olive, and simply tossed the drinks into each other's faces. Hers missed my face but landed on my chest - but I hit her square in the face.

It was supposed to be a joke, but it was weird that afterwards I felt cocky about "winning" and she got angry because she missed my face.

The moral of the story? Forget duels. I prefer duets.

p.s. I love chocolate mousse.

Miranda said...

Fush and chips - how is it that this is the first time I have heard of this? Where was I? SOunds fun!

Val - well quite!

Miss Understood - I know, quite peculiar!

Blogthatmamma - oh goody, can't wait!

Reya - here here. Duets are MUCH better!