Sunday, December 7, 2008

Snakes Alive

A few years ago, as I was going into my house, I heard a clunking sound. So being a brave girl I went over to my aunt's house and asked her to come and investigate the sound with me. It was coming from the bathroom so we went in and looked around and couldn't see anything. It almost sounded like a plumbing clunk so I went to the sink and checked the taps. Right above the sink, nestled into the corner was a wee shelf. Just above head head height. Nothing untoward with the taps so we turned to leave, mystery unsolved. 


From that wee shelf nestled in the corner, launched a massive cobra. At our heads. It was just trying to escape the poor thing but it did land on our heads and I'm ashamed to admit I did shriek like a girl having her pigtails tugged.    

Then my uncle came and shot it to pieces. In my bathroom. Quite scary in itself!

Anyway, that's just background for you. 

A few months later I was working in the nearest town and had a hideous 4 hour commute on Monday mornings on a corrugated tin roof of a road. So I'd wake up at 3 in the morning and drive to Chipata. One such still morning - you know the silence at that dead dark time - I heard a clunk coming from the bath. The light switch was on the other side of the bathroom so as I scurried across to switch the light on I snuck a quick look in the bath. And through the filtered moonlight, in the bath, I saw a big shiny writhey black cobra.

So I went back up stairs. Woke up bleary eyed boyfriend. There's a cobra in the bath. Come on, hurry. Here, wear these glasses, its a spitting cobra. He confused. Just woken up, not sure what he's expected to do anyway (me neither actually but just needed a witness I guess). Go down the stairs. Be careful. Big cobra. Massive. Switch on the light.

And there.

In the bath.

In all it's glory.

A pair of socks.

Needless to say I've never lived that one down!


Chimera said...

Some socks can be deadly.
Very marvellously funny!
T xx

tam said...

hahaHAAAAAA! Fnatastic. even tho i've heard it, i'd forgotten, and it works jolly well written down. oh golly. somehow it also reminds me of you getting your bed all folded down and ready for inspection ... at 3 oclock in the morning.
word veri is lerishoa. which can be shouted at a large snake, or indeed a pair of deadly socks.

Miranda said...

Tanvi - damn right they can!

Tam - heh heh, I guess I don't function too well at that time in the morning. LERISHOA! I shall remember that for next time!

Val said...

am not suprised bathroom clunks have that effect after the head launching cobra attack! cripes - think Id have screamed like a big girl!! xx

spacedlaw said...

A spitting pair of socks?
These can be extremely dangerous.
I think that cobra was playing with your brain.

Mud in the City said...

I hope the boyfriend dispatched them humanely!

Miranda said...

Val - haha, and I did, believe you me!

Spacedlaw - I obviously have a very active imagination coz I saw it move and everything!!

Mud - naaa, he just laughed and laughed and laughed!

Ernest de Cugnac said...

mystery solved. the socks belong to the cobra, who left them there having no use for them.

Tessa said...

Heheh - reminds me of the time in Semliki when I saw a baboon in the bathroom. Turned out it was my husband. I've also never lived that down, nor have I been forgiven!!

I wonder if living in Africa makes us somewhat delusional? Snakey socks? And easy mistake, Miranda...hehehehe

Miranda said...

Ernest - of COURSE! Duh, why didn't I realise that?!

Tessa - welcome and thanks for the visit! Like your story. Hahahaha! Snakey socks are indeed an easy mistake to make - even if they're actually rolled up in a ball??!

Absolute Vanilla (and Atyllah) said...

There is nothing quite so savage as a pair of socks - especially if they're smelly! Mind you, Ernest's take on them being the cobra's socks is pretty good!

Lori ann said...

Good you could laugh about it(after the scream of course!), i would have had a heart attack and died on the spot, can you get a big dog? Good Grief, snakes flying through the air...!!

Dumdad said...

It's a rare Cobra that has socks appeal...

Angela said...

What am I missing here not living in Africa?! Just think you had grown up in Germany, Miranda, - what a BORING life, compared to yours!!

Miranda said...

Absolute Vanilla - well, quite!

Lori Ann - big dog wouldn't work unfortunately. Of those dogs I have had or known ALL of them have been either killed by crocodiles, hyaenas, snakes, leopards. No point I'm afraid, just too much heart break!

Dumdad - hahahahaha

Geli - I often wonder how different a person I would be had I grown up in Germany or the States...what do you think?

Dumdad - hahahahahaha!

Angela said...

Miranda - in Germany : a clean and proper housewife maybe (haha, no chance, not with this inheritance!)
- in the States : definitely an entertainer! I think you are what you are, not much can change that. Only you wouldn`t have so many hilarious (and heartbreaking) stories to tell.

Mud in the City said...

Tagged you over at mine!