Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Imprecision air

Dear dear Precision Air,
I am very pleased to see that you were recently awarded "Most Respected Company in Tanzania". You must be very proud of yourselves and very pleased that you all got your mothers to vote. I can't imagine how you could have won this honour if it weren't for that. I know you say that "Our business focus is geared at the principle that quick, comfortable and reliable service is the best way to serve the customers. Through this customer-focused approach, many have become part of the Precisionair family." but do you really actually believe this?? And do we HAVE to become part of the Precision Air family? I would also like to point out that if you are called something it doesn't automatically MEAN that you are that something. You cannot rest on laurels that have not yet been earned. I may be called Patience, for example, but that does not necessarily mean that I am. And you may be called Precision Air......

For example. I am due to fly on your most reputable airline on Sunday to attend my sisters wedding which I am veryvery excited about. However I heard from a friend that tried to fly that route that you have cancelled your early morning flights from Kilimanjaro to Nairobi which means that I would miss my connecting flight to Johannesburg. I wonder, were you planning to tell me this?

I went in to your lovely high ceilinged busy office yesterday (just a tip, maybe if you'd like things to go a little smoother you could have more than one salesperson at their desk at a time - I mean there are 12 desks there. Just a suggestion, far be it from me to tell you how to do your job. Anyhow I went into your office yesterday, and the day before and the day before that and have spoken to you on numerous occasions before this and in the space of a week I have been told:

1) Your flights are all fine, running to schedule
2) Your outbound flights are fine, but your return flights have been cancelled
3) Your flights are fine
4) Your outbound flights have been cancelled, your return flights are fine
5) Your outbound flight is fine, your husband's is not. Your return flights have been cancelled

Now please, PLEASE, would you mind being just a little bit more precise and tell me exactly which one it is? I'd so hate to miss my sister's wedding.

Thank you so much and congratulations once more on your award,

Oh and PS - just in case you try and bump me off your flight as you did to my pregnant friend who had the doctors letter I've got the doctor to fill out the special form of yours that says I am in no way offensive to other passengers (smell, appearance, conduct) and am only 5 months pregnant and hope I won't give birth on your plane. I really really hope not

Maybe then we'd HAVE to be part of the Precision Air family...


Janelle said...

babes, you simply have to print this out, pop it into an envelope and leave it on the boss's desk..or maybe on the editor of Arusha Times desk...AND you need to change all flights onto Regional...Precision Air is possibly the most untrustworthy airline around these parts...speak to Anthea from reluctant
anyway, you know all this already, Patience....lots lots love x j

Dumdad said...

Good luck! Meanwhile, there are some awards for you on my blog.

Shiny said...

Oh, funny, you need a sick note because you have a baby in your tummy?

Dear Sir,

Please excuse Miranda from gym today - she has a baby busily growing in her tummy.

How exciting - wedding!

Word veri meamini

Mud in the City said...

I think you and Andrea should start up an airline in competition. It doesn't sound as though it could be any worse.

Or maybe a 21st century version of a stagecoach with Janelle's spotty horses?

Of course, that might not get you to the wedding in time...

tam said...

hahaha. Oh no!

We'll wait for you, honest we will.

Rob Inukshuk said...

ImPrecision Air is how I know this lot thanks to Anthea's most amusing tales.

So we all await news of ImPatience and her ImPrescision experiences.

I guess they get their award for consistently being inconsistent!

Oh, I do hope you get to the wedding on time, not African time though.

karen said...

How daunting! Best of luck with the travels...will be thinking of you! x

Angela said...

If they`ll take you on board and THEN make an imprecise detour via Germany,come to our place and we`ll watch the wedding on the webcam that Tam will have installed! Oh no, dear Patience, all will be wonderful, even if the wedding will take place a week later. They promised they`d wait!

Lori ann said...

This is a very funny post Miranda, but only from here, from there, when you are really trying to get somewhere I can imagine how it would be. I like Janelles idea, i think you should def do that. I was bumped off a flight to Hawaii once, was 8 mos. along. It took a full day before i could get the requisite note and catch a new flight. I learned the hard way!
Good luck♥

Miranda said...

Janelle - yeees, maybe! Next time I'll think before I book!

DD - Ooooh thanks for the award!

Shiny - yes exactly, a sick note!!

Mud - a stagecoach - now there's a plan!

Tam - no need, I'll be there!

Rob - yes, consistently inconsistent - exactly!

Karen- thanks!

Geli - a detour via Germany?!! haha, you never know!

Lori - Oh no, it IS funny! From here too. No other way to look at it!

Reya Mellicker said...

May your flights be smooth and on time so you'll be ready to be bumped up and down on the ride to Tam's rugged landscape.

And love to all!

Lizzy Frizzfrock said...

What a hoot!!! Hope you have smooth flying & get to the wedding on time! Great letter by the way!

featherduster said...

Only just discovered your blog (from Sunday Stealing) and this post is so funny.
Tell me, do Precision Air still only take cash? I remember going to book flights in Moshi with a bag full of TSh absolutely convinced they had a deal with the local mugger/police to stop the mzungu that would foolishly turn up with wads of notes.