Friday, February 19, 2010
The thundery blues and clear skies
I wish I’d taken my camera out with me yesterday. I suppose it’s a good thing coz it means I’ll have to tell you instead of being lazy and uploading a pic (although with the connection we have uploading pictures is no easy feat!). The three pictures I would like to have shared with you:
Picture 1: The mountain, all clad in torn bits of cloud, like lace, looking oh so shy-yet-sexy. A clear sky, save for these clouds, hugging the shape of Ms. Meru.
Picture 2: The road. The river. The river-road. Driving through the horizontal rain to visit my friend C. The road is a torrent of brown hurrying-rushing water, hurtling down the hill. I know there are lots of deep gashes in the road that you mustn’t drive into but have to try and remember where they are since the road is basically a river. It is fierce and most impressive
Picture 3: The egrets. I’ll still get this picture since they’re there every evening. There is one tree at the bottom of the road - not a very big one - that is iced with egrets. Every morning and evening they are there, hundreds of them. I have no idea how they all fit on, and why they don’t just spread out a bit into other trees. But last night they looked so very white against the thundery blue-black sky. Oh so melodramatic.
So night before last I had one of those mini meltdowns. You know the kind. Where you’ve survived seven and a half months on much less sleep than you’d prefer and for most of the day you’re in the company of a little critter who you lovelovelove more than anything, but whose conversational skills are not yet up to scratch but still wants to chat with you all. Day. Long. And you have to try and interpret the shnoffles and coos. Hungry? Tired? Bored? And all you seem to be doing is whizzing food up in a blender or whipping your boob out and Doing the Shopping which is not as easy as it used to be now that you have a squirmy thing attached to you limpet-like that you can’t just put down in a corner while you lug those heavy shopping bags to the car. And suddenly it dawns on you. Oh my god, I’m a housewife.* I’m not cut out for this. I used to, in my tiny way, make a Difference in people’s lives. What happened to the theatre? What happened to the heated debates in the villages? Giving a voice to those who struggle to make themselves heard? What am I doing, spending my days frazzled, exhausted and forgetful freezing baby food?
And yes, I know that I am soverylucky to be able to stay home with our fresh-mealie-scented daughter. That I don’t have to work. That this is the blessed most wonderful thing in the world. But vok it can be hard work!
And so I spent the morning with J, one of my oldest and bestest friends, and the afternoon with C, one of my newest loveliest friends.
And I made some resolutions. Ones that I didn’t make for the new year coz I don’t do that.
I will get Seka up here to perform. It will cost about $6,000 and I will raise that money and get them here. Kick start my brain and creativity. Hopefully it will be the start of something new and fabulous.
I will make a plan to just have an hour to myself a day I’m not sure how yet. Maybe I will have to employ someone to help with this. Let go, Miranda, let go! Then I will be able to go to yoga. To swim. To ride my motorbike. Maybe to work a bit
I will hang out more with my friends. Get out the house. Go Do Stuff.
And of course, the oldest best cure of all. I will go clothes shopping. Mitumba here we come!
Picture window and mirrors
* Some people use the term *housewife* like its such an insult. It should not be!