Sunday, December 5, 2010
Shadows of windows
Oh it is so time for a new post. Of this I am fully aware. I have things piling up behind me though, things to do, piling up and piling up and slowly pushing me forwards like all this snow falling on our northern hemisphere friends. And soon it will have pushed me forwards, up against the wall, to a point where I have to deal with it, discard, bury, or do until I can rise to the top, dig myself out. Its not bad, its just, you know, there.
Instead I find myself every morning hopping on my motorbike and riding to work, through the fields that have - virtually overnight - transformed from dusty haze into clear-green. Dodging fresh aardkvark diggings (that make me whoop with joy) and seeing little mini stone bomas and cattle kraals that the little herdboys have made while they pass the time looking after their sheep and goats. I pass the sheep too, looking terribly gormless and doff. Heads all together looking at the same spot on the ground. Maybe they are much cleverer than I am giving them credit for. Maybe they are actually discussing world affairs. Of the human or the sheep variety - either would be impressive.
And as I ride I have been pondering all those big question life throws at us sometimes. You know the ones. About life. About death. About how things can change so drastically in just a millisecond. This post, for instance from an old university pal who is in a wheelchair. All the things we take for granted. The feeling of the sea on our toes. And this post, so well put.
I find myself clutching to life these days, remembering how tenuous it really is. Hugging my baby gal a bit tighter. Worrying when my man takes the motorbike on the big road. What was the last thing I said to him? What if it's the last thing I did ever say to him? I feel like I'm turning into neurotic worrier. But I get like this sometimes, it'll pass. I guess when someone close to you dies so suddenly you're bound to feel a bit tumble dried.
In other news: Our group in Zambia has just been invited to perform at a festival in Copenhagen! How cool is that! (More paperwork edging up behind me)
Rehearsals are going great. Am loving it. Its one play, 2 casts, that will tour around the country next year. Having fun. I'm doing what I love. And what I'm good at. (If I don't say so myself!)
oh and also the RAINS are here! This time of year makes me so nostalgic. The different bird calls. They sound so happy. The different weight of the air. Look, here, the first rains:
And now, so green!